[ Nicholas is quiet as he goes in, closing the door very gently, then squinting towards the bed and the wave. Then there is a soft hiss that sounds suspiciously like a word that Miss Melanie might try to soap his mouth for... just so that the little ones don't learn it, before he steps closer.
His voice is also soft. ]
Hey. Um... I did bring some water. Nice and cold, at least for now.
[ It'll warm up, of course. But it should give a couple of small sips of relief, for the moment. ]
[ Fortunately, Vash doesn't catch the hiss in his muted fabric-muffled world. Not that he would do much beyond a halfhearted reprimand for appearances' sake anyway; the reason kids tend to gravitate towards him is because he'll let them get away with pretty much anything and Nicholas is no exception. (Or maybe even doubly so because of who he is.)
The gentle voice by his bedside and the lure of a cool glass of water does finally get the lump in the blankets to stir and rise up a bit. Although moving — much less in an upright position — makes the pounding in his head feel all the worse, the temptation of a little cold relief beats out the urge to remain very still in his too warm cocoon. ]
Thank you, Nicholas. You're a lifesaver, what would I do without you?
[ He manages with some humor and a grateful smile as his head appears from the blankets. ]
[ Nicholas will actually pour the water in a glass while the unfolding happens, then bring it over, pondering the question, answering with as much humor, if much dryer kind. ]
Suffer, probably.
[ And, yes, he remembers to say it quietly. He also hands over the thermos in case more coolness will be welcome. ]
[ Vash remains something of a burrito, wrapped in blankets with one acting like a hood although it does nothing to keep him from having to squint as his eyes adjust to the dim yet painful lighting in the room. The response is a welcome distraction then. One that earns Nicholas a chuckle as he accepts the glass and thermos with another murmur of gratitude. ]
Most likely.
[ It's... rather shameful to have a child look after him like this, he knows. No one deserves to be burdened by him in such a state, much less someone so young who's already carrying far more responsibilities than he should. Vash really needs to start doing better. But what's done is done and Nicholas is here now, so very kind and considerate.
He takes a few measured sips, resisting the urge to down the whole thing in one go for fear of upsetting his stomach (again), and sighs in relief at the soothing coolness. He briefly presses the cold thermos against his temple before refilling his half-drunk glass and setting the thermos aside on his bedside table. Vash shifts on the bed, creating a space that he pats in invitation. ]
Sorry about this, I hope I didn't pull you away from too many chores.
[ In all fairness, there are children who would be impressed by this, or take it as an example. Nicholas is just concerned.
He rubs the back of his head. ]
It's not too bad today. I'll manage later. [ A small, proud smile. ] It's easier work when everyone is helping.
[ Of course it's not everyone, but enough are helping, some of the smaller ones learning and eager to join, that it's lighter, right now. (Some of the littler ones will get adopted, and there will be new ones, and there will be harder days again. Not today.) ]
[ It's impossible not to feel utterly endeared by Nicholas — his gruff yet gentle concern, his kind attitude, that little prideful smile — and his presence alone serves to distract Vash from his hungover misery and make him feel better. As selfish and guilty as he feels, that doesn't diminish that in the slightest.
Although Nicholas doesn't seem to take up the invitation, Vash still leaves plenty of space on the bed as he settles back against the headboard in a cross-legged sit, nursing his glass of water. ]
I'm glad to hear it. I'll make it up to you and come around to help out soon too, 'kay?
[ Although the likelihood he'll get mobbed by the children and end up entertaining them all day instead of helping with chores is... quite high, going by previous experiences. ]
[ He's just concerned, all right? Wanted to make sure that Vash is all right. But once the water and Vash are both settled, he does climb to sit on the bed, carefully.
And just very gently nudges at Vash's arm with his shoulder. Promised hug now, or not yet?
Besides, entertaining the children is also helping with the chores! In a way! ]
I think that'll be nice, if it's all right with you. [ And if it will mean he doesn't want to drink that badly, that's also good, right? Win-win. Or something like that.
Because he sure won't have a chance to drink under Miss Melanie's watchful eye. Even one day of break means no hangover the next day, too. ]
[ His heart feels fit to bursting at the great care Nicholas takes not to jostle him and Vash doesn't hesitate shifting his glass to one hand, letting the blankets fall from his shoulders, and opening one arm in welcome at the silent ask. Between the kind distraction, the measured sips of water helping to clear his head, and his eyes adjusting to the light in the room, he feels more confident about moving. (So long as he's not required to get up just yet, that is.) ]
Of course, I'd be happy to help. If you're ever short-handed, you can always let me know.
[ There's a reason why he settled close to the orphanage. Or as close to settled as Vash can get anyway. He isn't always around, his nomadic nature makes truly staying in one place hard, but he stays here longer and returns more often than most other places.
Although that doesn't really matter either way. Nicholas would only need to ask and Vash would come running. ]
[ ... will he even be able to find him to tell him?
It doesn't matter.
Right now, he tucks himself under that arm, and wraps his arms as far as they will go against the man's chest, and rests his cheek against the hollow at the front of his shoulder.
Hug.
Beat.
This would be the time to say something nice. ]
... 'm glad if you're feelin' bad you didn't throw up.
Vash finds himself grateful to his past self for at least having somehow found the wherewithal to wash up and change into comfy clothing before crashing into bed after he came back from the bar. It means he doesn't still reek of alcohol and cigarettes when Nicholas tucks himself close. He reciprocates the embrace with no hesitation, wrapping his arm around Nicholas. He can't quite resist giving him a gentle squeeze concurrent with the swell of fondness he experiences before letting his arm rest around him loosely and comfortably, giving Nicholas the option to easily pull away whenever he wants to.
The weight and warmth of him is comforting against Vash's side; a balm to his aching heart that's admittedly far more potent than any liquor, but one much harder to reach for when he doesn't want to be selfish. Right now that doesn't seem to be a problem though, not when it seems Nicholas might have been just as much in need of a good hug.
The only somewhat coherent sentence gets a quiet chuckle out of Vash, both in amusement and slight sheepishness for the fact that he may or may not have thrown up the night before. ]
[ ... that's true, he will one day remember that he can also send texts, not only reply to others.
And yes, the point is that there is no stench, and Nicholas is grateful! He would not have hesitated to give the hug even if there had been, though.
Anyway. He gives a small headshake that's just this side of a nuzzle, and is not letting go just yet. He is not in that much of a hurry, and there's no harm in hugs. ]
's alright. If you end up worryin' that I'll worry, that'll just make it worse, wouldn't it? You do what you do, and you are how you are. No need t'be sorry.
[ He could cry, honestly. It's such an easy acceptance of who he is — awful habits and all — and Vash knows how rare and precious that is. It manages to both show a child's pureness and simplicity yet also a maturity beyond Nicholas' years at the same time. It's so painfully kind, nonjudgmental, and far more generous than Vash thinks he deserves. ]
Ahh, you're so wise and kind.
[ He hides his swell of emotions behind a playful tone. Resisting the urge to squeeze him tight in an impromptu bout of something close to cute aggression, Vash simply tilts his head down to the side, letting his cheek rest against Nicholas' hair. He admits with a wistful sigh: ]
[ IT is comfortable like this. He can kind of hear Vash's heartbeat, and it's so fascinating to listen to.
Why me, he wants to ask, because there are so many people, his age or any age, woh are better and wiser and smarter, but he's pretty sure even if the man has an answer, beyond 'well you texted me back' or something like it, he might not give it. Instead... ]
[ His heart beats a little slower than your average human, but it's steady and strong, rhythmic like the waves of an ocean this planet has never known. It doesn't falter even when Vash verbally does, humming to buy himself time to consider how to answer that question.
Had Nicholas asked the question he'd wanted to ask, it would have indeed ended in an evasive non-answer because Vash can't just tell him that he's the reincarnation of his closest, dearest friend. He can't put that sort of thing on a grown person, much less a kid. It's a constant struggle for him to want to be near, to make sure Nicholas is safe and protected, and also wanting to keep away for that very same reason. Sometimes his selfishness wins out though and watching from afar gets too lonely. ]
Myself, I suppose.
[ He settles on and it's... not wrong, per se, but doing anything purely for himself is difficult. There's a beat before he adds to that statement, truthfully. ]
And the people who I know would want me to do better, but aren't around anymore to tell me so.
[ Nicholas is confused about why he is so special - and he can recognize that he is - but he feels safe with Vash, and that's rare with adults that are other than the ones working at the orphanage, and he appreciates it. And even with the drinking and hangovers, he knows there is so many stories and interesting reactions and unexpected things he says and does. And he always makes sure people are safe.
So Nicholas appreciates him, and being around him, so in some ways he doesn't want to poke at it too much. He doesn't want to make him go away for good. (He'll go and he'll come back, and that's all right, but...) ]
Ah. That makes sense. When you're doing it for others, it's kind of easier, isn't it. Might not be easy, but it's easier. So I know you can do it. Just maybe it won't work all at once. Just small bits at a time?
[ As careful as he is to separate Nicholas and the Wolfwood he once knew and not conflate the two too much, there's no denying that Nicholas means the world to him. To feel him tucked against him, warm and alive, does make Vash feel better despite his conflicted feelings. To know he's safe and sound, doing as best as any orphan can given the circumstances, is a peace of mind that drinking to momentarily forget the past can't give him. Although the hug was a mostly selfish request, he can't regret it.
He hums in agreement that it is easier, not at all surprised that Nicholas understands when he does so much for the other children at the orphanage. ]
Well, if I have you believing in me, then I can't fail.
[ Least of all because he couldn't bear little Nicholas being disappointed in him. It's all the more incentive to start getting his act together a bit better.
He lifts his head so he can raise his hand to rest it on top of Nicholas' head instead, giving his hair a gentle ruffle. ]
[ Nicholas makes a bit of a face at the hair ruffle, but doesn't really move. A hug is nice. It doesn't hurt anyone. And if it does manage to help, all the better. ]
's what I think anyone can do. I know even with the kids sometimes there's not much one can do. They'll cry in the night, or be afraid to go the loo on their own, or what have you. Must be even worse when you're grown up and you gotta decide everythin'. Over an' over again.
So if you, like. Yell at yourself 'bout it every time, that's not gonna help. Then you'd just wanna drink so it'll hurt less all over again. Wouldn't it?
[ It's the other reason why he doesn't mind helping. Vash seems to be always on his own, and that gets in the way of anything getting better, in his vast experience. So he'll keep on doing what little he thinks he can. ]
[ Fortunately for Nicholas, the hair ruffling doesn't last long at all before his hand stills, remaining on his head as Vash listens attentively to what he's saying. It's such easy wisdom. Vash can't tell if it's because of the simple clarity with which a child perceives the world or because it's Nicholas. (It's not something he's likely ever going to get an answer to, but he's just glad he gets to wonder at all.) The easy wisdom is a knowledge that easily and often goes forgotten in the face of guilt and Vash has enough of that to drown himself in.
A reminder is certainly not out of order and very much appreciated, even if he somehow feels vaguely scolded from beyond the grave. ]
You're not wrong.
[ He admits with a smile in his voice, starting to move his hand again. Rather than the ruffle from before, his movements are a slow back and forth as he strokes Nicholas' hair the way he remembers Rem used to pet his own. ]
I guess I should treat myself with more kindness, huh?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
weeeh
His voice is also soft. ]
Hey. Um... I did bring some water. Nice and cold, at least for now.
[ It'll warm up, of course. But it should give a couple of small sips of relief, for the moment. ]
🫶
The gentle voice by his bedside and the lure of a cool glass of water does finally get the lump in the blankets to stir and rise up a bit. Although moving — much less in an upright position — makes the pounding in his head feel all the worse, the temptation of a little cold relief beats out the urge to remain very still in his too warm cocoon. ]
Thank you, Nicholas. You're a lifesaver, what would I do without you?
[ He manages with some humor and a grateful smile as his head appears from the blankets. ]
much of that back
Suffer, probably.
[ And, yes, he remembers to say it quietly. He also hands over the thermos in case more coolness will be welcome. ]
There you go.
no subject
Most likely.
[ It's... rather shameful to have a child look after him like this, he knows. No one deserves to be burdened by him in such a state, much less someone so young who's already carrying far more responsibilities than he should. Vash really needs to start doing better. But what's done is done and Nicholas is here now, so very kind and considerate.
He takes a few measured sips, resisting the urge to down the whole thing in one go for fear of upsetting his stomach (again), and sighs in relief at the soothing coolness. He briefly presses the cold thermos against his temple before refilling his half-drunk glass and setting the thermos aside on his bedside table. Vash shifts on the bed, creating a space that he pats in invitation. ]
Sorry about this, I hope I didn't pull you away from too many chores.
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He rubs the back of his head. ]
It's not too bad today. I'll manage later. [ A small, proud smile. ] It's easier work when everyone is helping.
[ Of course it's not everyone, but enough are helping, some of the smaller ones learning and eager to join, that it's lighter, right now. (Some of the littler ones will get adopted, and there will be new ones, and there will be harder days again. Not today.) ]
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Although Nicholas doesn't seem to take up the invitation, Vash still leaves plenty of space on the bed as he settles back against the headboard in a cross-legged sit, nursing his glass of water. ]
I'm glad to hear it. I'll make it up to you and come around to help out soon too, 'kay?
[ Although the likelihood he'll get mobbed by the children and end up entertaining them all day instead of helping with chores is... quite high, going by previous experiences. ]
no subject
And just very gently nudges at Vash's arm with his shoulder. Promised hug now, or not yet?
Besides, entertaining the children is also helping with the chores! In a way! ]
I think that'll be nice, if it's all right with you. [ And if it will mean he doesn't want to drink that badly, that's also good, right? Win-win. Or something like that.
Because he sure won't have a chance to drink under Miss Melanie's watchful eye. Even one day of break means no hangover the next day, too. ]
no subject
Of course, I'd be happy to help. If you're ever short-handed, you can always let me know.
[ There's a reason why he settled close to the orphanage. Or as close to settled as Vash can get anyway. He isn't always around, his nomadic nature makes truly staying in one place hard, but he stays here longer and returns more often than most other places.
Although that doesn't really matter either way. Nicholas would only need to ask and Vash would come running. ]
no subject
[ ... will he even be able to find him to tell him?
It doesn't matter.
Right now, he tucks himself under that arm, and wraps his arms as far as they will go against the man's chest, and rests his cheek against the hollow at the front of his shoulder.
Hug.
Beat.
This would be the time to say something nice. ]
... 'm glad if you're feelin' bad you didn't throw up.
[ Nailed it. ]
no subject
Vash finds himself grateful to his past self for at least having somehow found the wherewithal to wash up and change into comfy clothing before crashing into bed after he came back from the bar. It means he doesn't still reek of alcohol and cigarettes when Nicholas tucks himself close. He reciprocates the embrace with no hesitation, wrapping his arm around Nicholas. He can't quite resist giving him a gentle squeeze concurrent with the swell of fondness he experiences before letting his arm rest around him loosely and comfortably, giving Nicholas the option to easily pull away whenever he wants to.
The weight and warmth of him is comforting against Vash's side; a balm to his aching heart that's admittedly far more potent than any liquor, but one much harder to reach for when he doesn't want to be selfish. Right now that doesn't seem to be a problem though, not when it seems Nicholas might have been just as much in need of a good hug.
The only somewhat coherent sentence gets a quiet chuckle out of Vash, both in amusement and slight sheepishness for the fact that he may or may not have thrown up the night before. ]
Thank you. Sorry if I worried you.
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And yes, the point is that there is no stench, and Nicholas is grateful! He would not have hesitated to give the hug even if there had been, though.
Anyway. He gives a small headshake that's just this side of a nuzzle, and is not letting go just yet. He is not in that much of a hurry, and there's no harm in hugs. ]
's alright. If you end up worryin' that I'll worry, that'll just make it worse, wouldn't it? You do what you do, and you are how you are. No need t'be sorry.
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Ahh, you're so wise and kind.
[ He hides his swell of emotions behind a playful tone. Resisting the urge to squeeze him tight in an impromptu bout of something close to cute aggression, Vash simply tilts his head down to the side, letting his cheek rest against Nicholas' hair. He admits with a wistful sigh: ]
But I know I need to do better.
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so fascinating to listen to.
Why me, he wants to ask, because there are so many people, his age or any age, woh are better and wiser and smarter, but he's pretty sure even if the man has an answer, beyond 'well you texted me back' or something like it, he might not give it. Instead... ]
What for? You need to do better for... what?
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Had Nicholas asked the question he'd wanted to ask, it would have indeed ended in an evasive non-answer because Vash can't just tell him that he's the reincarnation of his closest, dearest friend. He can't put that sort of thing on a grown person, much less a kid. It's a constant struggle for him to want to be near, to make sure Nicholas is safe and protected, and also wanting to keep away for that very same reason. Sometimes his selfishness wins out though and watching from afar gets too lonely. ]
Myself, I suppose.
[ He settles on and it's... not wrong, per se, but doing anything purely for himself is difficult. There's a beat before he adds to that statement, truthfully. ]
And the people who I know would want me to do better, but aren't around anymore to tell me so.
no subject
So Nicholas appreciates him, and being around him, so in some ways he doesn't want to poke at it too much. He doesn't want to make him go away for good. (He'll go and he'll come back, and that's all right, but...) ]
Ah. That makes sense. When you're doing it for others, it's kind of easier, isn't it. Might not be easy, but it's easier. So I know you can do it. Just maybe it won't work all at once. Just small bits at a time?
no subject
He hums in agreement that it is easier, not at all surprised that Nicholas understands when he does so much for the other children at the orphanage. ]
Well, if I have you believing in me, then I can't fail.
[ Least of all because he couldn't bear little Nicholas being disappointed in him. It's all the more incentive to start getting his act together a bit better.
He lifts his head so he can raise his hand to rest it on top of Nicholas' head instead, giving his hair a gentle ruffle. ]
I'll do my best. Step by step.
no subject
's what I think anyone can do. I know even with the kids sometimes there's not much one can do. They'll cry in the night, or be afraid to go the loo on their own, or what have you. Must be even worse when you're grown up and you gotta decide everythin'. Over an' over again.
So if you, like. Yell at yourself 'bout it every time, that's not gonna help. Then you'd just wanna drink so it'll hurt less all over again. Wouldn't it?
[ It's the other reason why he doesn't mind helping. Vash seems to be always on his own, and that gets in the way of anything getting better, in his vast experience. So he'll keep on doing what little he thinks he can. ]
so sorry, i was convinced i already replied ;;
A reminder is certainly not out of order and very much appreciated, even if he somehow feels vaguely scolded from beyond the grave. ]
You're not wrong.
[ He admits with a smile in his voice, starting to move his hand again. Rather than the ruffle from before, his movements are a slow back and forth as he strokes Nicholas' hair the way he remembers Rem used to pet his own. ]
I guess I should treat myself with more kindness, huh?